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The wind whipping beyond 44th Street fabricated the black air feel like a soul-destroying aught degrees, but in the ambit I anticipation I could accomplish out some flames. Or, at the actual least, some neon. It was 6:45 p.m. on New Year’s Eve — set to be the additional coldest in New York City history — and I was in a band that continued bisected a block, cat-and-mouse to get into Guy Fieri’s Times Square restaurant on what would be its final night in business.

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The doors were declared to accessible at 7 p.m., but admission was slow. The agents seemed extemporaneous to handle a army of this size, about as if they didn’t apprehend this abounding bodies to actually appearance up. Down the block, I noticed the covering for Sardi’s, a Theater District academy that has become alike with Broadway, embodying what’s larboard of the city’s old-world charm. Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, on the added hand, is the ultimate announcement of Times Square’s 25-year-long Disneyfication. Aloof bristles years ago, the Blue Stein Group — owners of New York’s assorted Heartland Breweries — allegedly saw this amplitude as the absolute area to accessible the acme jewel of the Guy Fieri restaurant portfolio, which now includes outposts in Orlando, Playa del Carmen, and the Poconos. Aback the Manhattan restaurant opened in 2012, the bulletin was clear: The barbarians had assuredly comatose the gates.

The restaurant was consistently ridiculous, of course, but not in the means that its operators intended. The abode was aggress by chaos, both gastronomically and aesthetically. The actuality that Fieri abandoned accountant his name, rather than oversaw its details, abandoned escalated the apology of its band of personality. The sinews of late-capitalist American balloon all converged assimilate this one accurate abode in this one accurate adjacency to represent aggregate that America would angle for. The Kushners alike bought the architecture in 2015. And yet brainstorm the shock of learning, aloof aftermost week, that Guy’s was kaput: The restaurant sported addition ten years on its lease. It raked in almost $16 actor annually adjoin $1.8 actor in annual rent. On paper, it was one of the best acknowledged restaurants in America, alike admitting it abundantly aggressive one of history’s best aboriginal analytical reviews.

Perhaps the actuality that Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar somehow couldn’t survive its political analog’s aboriginal year in office, in a architecture endemic by the ancestors of his son-in-law, lent a awe-inspiring array of desolation to the proceedings.

When I assuredly got to the advanced of the line, the agents abreast me that I did not accept the able admission for entry, admitting the actuality that I had never been accustomed capacity on how to admission one. They accepted that I acknowledgment to the elements while I amount it out, and never has so authentic a adaptation aptitude kicked in. I stood my ground, and at some point, let them apperceive that I already couldn’t feel my face. Eventually, they relented and let me in.

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The abject amount to alike get in the aperture was $140 afterwards fees. That bought admission to an accessible bar and a buffet. VIP bales ran as aerial as $800 per person. Who would appetite to absorb their New Year’s Eve in the aggregation of Guy Fieri’s agitation dream for that affectionate of money? Everyone, it seemed.

All three floors were arranged to the gills; every VIP table was announced for. I aggregate a alcohol with Erin and her husband, a adolescent brace from arctic Virginia. Why did they adjudge to attend? “We came actuality aftermost night, and aback they told us that they were closing afterwards New Year’s Eve, we had to appear back!” Erin declared. That was as aflame an affirmation of a Fieri fan as I could find.

I had accustomed acquisitive for the Fieri faithful. But the army aggregate at this angelic armpit for its final approbation was abandoned a cantankerous area of an boilerplate Broadway crowd, with all of the amateurishness of a bells reception. There were tourists both adopted and domestic. There were outer-borough locals and association from high Manhattan. There were couples and packs of families with adolescent kids. There were bros from New Jersey and Long Island attractive to get wild. Some were there because they admired Fieri, but best were there artlessly because it was the abandoned accessible enactment that abutting to the brawl drop, and aren’t we all declared to arena in the new year in Times Square?

Nobody was accepting a bad time, per se, but the fun was as artificial as it was inorganic. Strangers were affected to allotment VIP tables. The brawl attic was absonant abandoned out of obligation. A affiliated woman from Michigan accepted that her new accompany get out there and ankle with her. Men in bleed pullovers stood forth the wall, beers in hand, watching the activity and agilely bobbing their heads.

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One adolescent man danced abandoned like no one was watching.

Every already in a while, the 40-something DJ would cry out: “SCREEEEEEEEAM.” He broke “Bodak Yellow” by bond it with an actually abhorrent allurement beat. Yet aback he insisted that all the distinct bodies put their easily in the air, I couldn’t acquisition it in my affection to debris him.

Because there was no approved meal service, we were all clumsy to acquaintance the restaurant’s Big Flavors™. No Guy-talian Nachos, no Big Bite Caesar, and nary a cup of Dragon’s Breath Chili. There wasn’t a bead of Donkey Sauce in sight. Instead, the cafe provided some Motley Que Ribs, penne vodka, and what ability be advised a cheese alternative in abandoned the best accommodating of terms.

Eleven o’clock formed about and the army began to thin. Kids bare to be put to bed. Bodies capital to exhausted the cartage afore midnight. Anybody was annoyed afterwards partying for four hours. As bodies left, a faculty of certain certitude afraid over Flavortown, whose citizenry was rapidly dwindling. Nobody cared that Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar would anon be no more. New York’s able-bodied of Donkey Sauce had assuredly run dry.

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We accurately pushed against our fate. I begin myself debating gun rights with Erin, her husband, and a Chinese accountant as the artificial Champagne flutes were handed out, bald moments afore the brawl dropped. Aback midnight struck, no armament was befuddled central of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar. Instead, a bartender tossed some cocktail napkins in the air.

The abode austere out in a bustle afterwards that. Nobody seemed absorbed in extending the activity of this once-proud landmark. By the time the alarm addled one, it was all over. The bar administrator bought anybody one aftermost annular while the actual revelers affably calm their accouterments and ventured aback out into the subzero winds. The agents swept up the abandoned brawl floor, advancing to about-face off the lights one aftermost time, and my apperception absent to “Ozymandias”:

Nothing beside remains. Annular the decayOf that colossal Wreck, great and bareThe abandoned and akin bank amplitude far away.

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